Infrequently Asked Questions

Just how do you pronounce the name Cockburn anyway?

As in the actor James Coburn, or as in the sentence "Don't let Sebastian Coe burn himself playing with those matches," or as in the wishful thought "I'd like to poke that psycho Bernard Manning in the eye."
And if that doesn't make it crystal clear, then the following limerick should remove any lingering confusion.

There was a young fellow named Cockburn
Who found himself stranded in Oban.
He said, "It is queer
That I've ended up here
When I boarded a tube bound for Holborn."

Do you know of any famous Cockburns?

The name is not entirely obscure, and one could find many famous Cockburns by typing the name into an internet search engine. Here are a few I have come across in real (non-web) life:

• Cockburn's Special Reserve Port. It's in all the shops as Christmas approaches. It used to be advertised on TV a generation ago, with the catch phrase, "One doesn't say cock, one says co."
• There is an estate agent here in the South East called "Cockburn's".
• Patrick Cockburn has been the Middle East correspondent for The Independent for many years, and (as of 2005) regularly sends reports on the sitation in Iraq.
• The BBC TV series "Rough Science" welcomed a new geologist in 2005 called Hermione Cockburn.
• In the 2008 movie Tropic Thunder Steve Coogan plays a character called Damien Cockburn. His surname is mis-pronounced throughout, but I presume this is intentional.
• Another Paul Cockburn exists. He used to contribute regularly to role-playing magazines such as "White Dwarf". Despite having an occasional interest in fantasy games myself, I am not that Paul Cockburn. I've never met him. But I have sometimes met people who have asked if I am him. I'm not.

What on earth is a kennings poem?

No, I hadn't heard of one either until Madeleine wrote one (see her hippo page). My dictionary tells me that a kenning is a metaphorical compound word or phrase used in Old English and Old Norse poetry. For example swan-road for ocean. The word comes from kenna, to percieve. So now you know.

How many beans make five?

One bean, two beans, a bean and a half, and half a bean.

Who or what is an Oxford comma?

Ah yes, a fascinating trivial insight into grammar and punctuation.... Normally a list of items is separated by commas, except for the last two items which are separated by the word 'and'. For example: Emerson, Lake and Palmer. However, if the penultimate item on the list happens to contain the word 'and', then this is followed by an extra comma to avoid confusion. This extra comma is known as the Oxford comma. For example: This morning I found someone had left several dead bishops on the landing again. This time they were from Durham, Rochester, Bath and Wells, and Lichfield.

By the way, did you spot an Oxford comma in the answer to the previous question?
(It was my late grandfather who provided that answer so don't blame me. I don't know what it means either.)

Why do fools fall in love?

(pending)

What is your email address?

The simple answer is rev@paulcockburn.co.uk
Other older email addresses may well still reach me but the above is your best bet.

I used to distinguish between work and home emails by suggesting that if you want to contact me regarding the church and the Methodist ministry, then write to rev@paulcockburn.co.uk
but for personal or family matters, write to home@paulcockburn.co.uk
However, these days both emails will come to the same place so the distinction is less significant.

If you want to know more, here's the full story: paulcockburn.co.uk is just a redirection service, so anything sent to something@paulcockburn.co.uk will be redirected to one of my 'real' addresses. (mostly google mail) I prefer people to use one of the above two addresses because they will not change even if I swap my broadband provider or email provider.

For the sake of completeness, here is a list of addresses past and present.
rev@paulcockburn.co.uk - will arrive in my google mail inbox
home@paulcockburn.co.uk - ditto
work@paulcockburn.co.uk - ditto
paul.cockburn@methodist.org.uk - ditto
revpaulcockburn@googlemail.com - ditto
home@paulcockburn.f2s.com - will reach a different computer, which I check less often
cockburn@freeuk.com or something@cockburn.freeuk.com - almost obselete. I do occasionally check, but I get hundreds (literally) of spam email each week on this, so genuine email can easily be lost.
cockburn@fish.co.uk - obselete
I have set up a wide range of other emails for particular purposes (for example ebay@paulcockburn.co.uk - guess where I use that one!), but this doesn't need to worry you. Just stick to one of the recommended two and you'll be fine.